Beautiful Girl
by Shadowdancer96
Summary: One shots chronicling different points in Roy's journey to transitioning from male to female. NOT in chronological order. No clone angst.
1. Chapter 1

Roy's hands trembled as he applied the pinkish red wax to his lips. He rubbed them together the way he had watched Dinah do so often. Ollie had thought he stared because she was beautiful, he was only partially right. As Roy watched her apply the smooth foundation, the dark powder to her lids, envy would bubble up in his chest, not desire. Well, perhaps a little desire too, to know what it would feel like to be like Dinah, a real woman.

He would stare in the mirror at nights, hating his broad chest and muscular arms, he wished he could be softer, more petite and feminine. He could never pass as a girl looking as he did now. His strong jaw and deep voice wouldn't allow it. Yet, here he was, staring into that same mirror applying lipstick and eyeliner and just a little bit of blush with shimmer in it. He was going to attempt mascara as well, but when he laid eyes on the strange little brush inside the tube he abandoned that for another day. Walking back into his small bedroom he pulled off his shirt and tossed it towards the hamper, his pants and underwear soon followed. With a shaky breath Roy picked up the dark blue garment resting on the edge of his bed and stepped into it.

"So this is why M'gann loves skirts so much." He muttered as he zipped it up. So light, so soft next to his skin, so beautiful. It came to his knees and ended with a little lacey ruffle, the sleeves were matching lace, their full length obscuring Roy's well-muscled arms from view. He looked in the mirror again and grinned, giving a little twirl.

"You like it?" Said a soft voice from the doorway. Turning, he found Dinah watching him and blushed.

"It's gorgeous." He said a little breathlessly, it was the first time he'd worn women's clothing.

"You're gorgeous." Dinah replied. She came to stand behind him at the mirror, smoothing a wrinkle in his skirt.

"I look bulky." Roy argued. "I look like a man." He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"You are a beautiful woman." Dinah whispered into his ear. "Don't let anyone ever tell you differently Roy." Tears welled in the redhead's eyes.

"Do you think so?" He asked.

"You are lovely." Dinah confirmed. "Your date will be here soon, let's finish getting you ready."

"Oh, am I, uh, I know I'm a little new to makeup but I thought it looked okay." Roy stammered. He reached up to wipe away the cosmetics that suddenly felt caked onto his face.

"That's not what I meant!" Dinah grabbed his hand before he could mar the makeup. "You did a great job with the makeup. I have….Ollie…got something for you." She retreated to the doorway and grabbed a bag from the hall. "If you're not comfortable with it to feel pressured. Ollie just thought, it might be good for you." She handed the bag to the nervous teen.

"Is this?" Roy trailed off as he looked inside. He pulled out two small garments and let the bag drop to the ground. The first was shaped like a tube top, but came only to his waist and had some very noticeable padding in the chest area. The second looked like a padded skirt.

"To help with your shape, at least until you can get started on the hormones." Dinah explained. Roy could have cried as his surrogate mother stepped forward to unzip his dress….her dress. It was time to stop being afraid to call herself what she was Roy decided as she wriggled into the two garments and pulled her dress back up over them.

"There we go." Dinah zipped her up again and turned her to face the mirror.

"Wow." Roy gasped when she saw herself. With the shapers on there was roundness to Roy's hips, giving her more of a waist, and much to her liking, a subtle swell was now noticeable in her chest.

"Whoa." Ollie called form the doorway, the two women standing at the mirror turned to look at him. "Look at this gorgeous girl." He beamed. Roy couldn't contain the grin that broke out on her face. It had taken her so long to come to grips with her gender identity, having such supportive parental figures had helped immensely in the past few months.

"Thanks." Roy blushed.

"He's here." Ollie told her with a wink.

"He's early!" Dinah fussed. "Where did you put the shoes?" She asked, turning to Roy.

"I'll tell him you will be right out." Ollie winked again and headed back down the hall.

"They're under my bed." Roy told her. While she fished around for the shoebox Roy crossed over to her dresser and grabbed the black clutch bag Dinah had lent her off the top.

"Here." Dinah set the shoes in front of her, simple black flats. Roy didn't feel ready to try out heels just yet. "Ready?" Dinah asked.

"Ready." Roy nodded. The pair walked down the hall together, Dinah with her hand on the small of Roy's back.

"Ah, here they are." Ollie said. He was sitting on the arm of a recliner, opposite the young man on the couch.

"Hi." Roy said shyly, suddenly feeling very exposed. It was one thing to dress this way in front of Dinah and Ollie, but this was something else entirely.

"You look enchanting this evening." Kaldur'ahm was all charm as he stood. "I fear I pale in comparison." Roy chuckled at that. Kaldur was breathtaking in his dark suit, he'd paired it with a dark blue tie matching Roy's dress, Dinah must have tipped him off about the color.

"You look amazing." Roy assured him, crossing the room to place a small kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you love. I brought you something." Kaldur reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a clear box. Inside was a small corsage, white flowers on a silvery band with just a hint of black lace in the place where baby's breath would normally be. Yep, Dinah was definitely involved.

"It's so pretty, thank you."

"May I put it on you?" Kaldur asked gently.

"Yes please." Roy agreed softly. Kaldur gently took the corsage out of its packaging and slid it onto the redhead's wrist.

"Lovely flowers for a lovely girl." Kaldur whispered.

"Thank you." Roy replied, hoping Kaldur would understand all that she was thanking him for, not just the corsage.

"Well if you kids don't hit the road you'll be late!" Ollie declared, glancing at his watch.

"Can't have you being late to the party." Dinah chided. "Batman was very clear that the team being invited to the League's annual Ball is a right that can be revoked."

"We will get on our way then." Kaldur said smoothly. He offered his arm to Roy, who accepted with a blush and with a last wave to Dinah and Ollie, the pair was gone.

"Our beautiful girl." Dinah murmured awe.

"Our beautiful girl." Ollie agreed with a grin.


	2. Chapter 2

Roy had first laid eyes on Kaldur when he was fourteen years old, just at the start of that awkward post-puberty phase. It had been a particularly difficult transition for Roy as each day saw his voice drop lower, jawline grow firmer, muscles more defined. He was a very handsome man by all standards, and yet, he was disgusted by the sight of himself. As a child, the only issue he had with his gender was some people's absurd ideas that it dictated what he liked or should do. Now, his whole body seemed to be rebelling against him. The feeling only intensified when the dark Atlantean had first appeared at his mentor's side during a trip with Ollie and Dinah to the coast of Mexico.

"He's a boy." Roy had told himself. "I'm a boy. I think that means it's wrong? But, I don't really want to be a boy." He would grow afraid even as he thought the words. Didn't want to be a boy? What did that make him? He had never heard the word transgender, it didn't come up much on the Navajo reservation and in the foster care system, well, no one had really bothered to talk to Roy all that much.

Many days he thought about telling his mentor about the all-consuming loathing he had for his body. But, Ollie was so proud of his sidekick, beaming whenever the boy was complimented, in the mask or out of it. Roy and Speedy both brought Ollie so much joy, how could he tell his adoptive father he wasn't the son Ollie wanted him to be. What if this feeling meant he was somehow defective? Never meant to fall in love or have a family. Roy didn't know if that was something he wanted, but he wanted the choice.

Several months passed from the initial meeting and Roy though about Kaldur all the time, his voice, lithe limbs. His hands were especially beautiful, the way he used them when he talked, slim hands that led to long pianist's fingers. Roy could get worked up just thinking about those fingers, how they would feel sliding down his chest. That year Roy took a lot of cold showers, and decided he was gay.

Then, fifteen came and all the girls around him had developed into woman. Hairless chests with large breasts, soft curves and faces. High pitched voices that sounded bell like. He felt his own voice sounded more like a truck backing over gravel. The sight of his wide muscular chest made him want to vomit, the sight of his penis actually did cause him to throw up a couple of times. He didn't think that was normal for gay boys. But, then again, what did he know? He'd never met another gay person…maybe this was normal.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N So in love with this idea that I have now decided to take it into a series of one-shots! Not quite sure how long it will be but there will most likely be at least ten or twelve chapters, it depends on how much material I come up with. If there are any moments you guys would like to see be sure to leave a review or PM me and I'll definitely write something up for it! Also, to any Trans people reading this sorry for any inaccuracies, as a gender fluid person I only do the whole dysphoria thing about half the time and haven't taken any steps to transition more towards androgyny so I'm familiar but not an expert on the subject. If I goof something up as far as terminology or medical stuff just let me know and it will be fixed.**

Today was the day. Roy had waited so long for this moment, to be allowed access into the fabled headquarters of the Justice League. He was practically giddy as he pulled his signature red tunic over his head. Turning to the mirror to fix his hair and bobby pin in his hat he took a moment to admire himself in the mirror. He hadn't been able to tolerate the tightness of spandex or molded Kevlar against his flat chest, but this tunic was even better to him than the protection that would have offered. Over his tights Roy could imagine it was a dress, like the casual flowery things that his friend Mia always wore to school.

"Royboy are you ready?" Ollie burst into the room, already in full uniform.

"Please don't call me that." Roy complained as he adjusted his hat and turned to grab his quiver.

"We need to go. Ice villains are attacking in multiple locations." Ollie urged.

"Whatever, don't call me Royboy. It's a stupid nickname anyway." Roy muttered as he pushed past Ollie out of the room.

"Roy, is that really important right now?" Ollie huffed as they headed out to the roof.

"Yes!" I told you not to call me that like twelve times yesterday, so today you get up and it's like the first thing you do." Roy complained. Ollie grabbed his shoulders and turned the redhead around.

"Roy, what the hell is going on here? Why does a stupid nickname piss you off so much you don't even care when I tell you we have a mission?" Ollie questioned severely.

"Just…" Roy sputtered. "Just…don't….don't call me that!"

"Roy." Ollie sighed. "We'll talk about this later, we have a job to do."

"Fine. Let's make it fast, today's the day." Roy stomped out to the roof.

Later never came…..Roy saw the false promotion of the four original sidekicks as nothing less than degrading….it was too much. First Ollie with that stupid nickname that made his insides constrict and then…THIS. They all acted as if Roy couldn't possibly know anything about himself. Just last month Ollie had tried to set him up on a date with a colleague's daughter despite Roy's repeated declarations that he wasn't interested in women.

"A fucking phase." Roy spat bitterly, mocking his mentor. "It's not a fucking phase." He paced the safe house he was hiding out in, like a spoiled child, he thought to himself.

"It isn't though." Roy hyperventilated a little, his loose tunic suddenly grew tight against his chest. He pulled at the clothing, ripping a hole in the fabric in a desperate attempt to free his tightening ribcage. He stripped down to his boxers as the panic attack escalated, he ripped at his arms with blunt fingernails, trying to free himself from this false skin. "It's not." He cried. "It's not, it's not, it's not."

He was still screaming, blood running down his arms when Kaldur found him early the next morning. The dark skinned boy took ahold of his friend and rocked him gently against his chest until he laid down and went to sleep. When Roy awoke that afternoon, Kaldur was gone and there were bandages over the scratches on his arms. He threw away the Speedy costume on his way out of the safe house, on his way to disappear.


End file.
